


Everything He Ever Wanted

by Nifflers_n_nargles



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Auror Teddy Lupin, Birthday, Birthday Presents, Community: hp_nextgen_fest, Growing Up Together, HP Next Gen Fest 2018, Harry Potter Next Generation, Hogwarts, Innuendo, Kid James Sirius Potter, Kid Teddy Lupin, M/M, Post-Hogwarts, Quidditch Player James Sirius Potter, Romantic Gestures, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-23 17:03:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16622888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nifflers_n_nargles/pseuds/Nifflers_n_nargles
Summary: James has had a lot of favorite things in his life...or has he?





	Everything He Ever Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> First a foremost a huge thank you to the mods for putting together such a wonderful fest and for being so kind and understanding as I was writing this! This fic would be nothing without the incredible squad of people I have been able to discuss characters with (whether in a specific or abstract way). Knowingly or not you helped me to solidify these characters in their younger years. 
> 
> Thank you toAaibidil for all the advice on the brains of children, you made young James believable. Thank you to Maesterchill for fielding my many random Brit-picking questions, you saved my arse on several occasions. Thank you to Violetclarity for the discussions of characterization, plot bunnies, and suggestions on structure, without your insight I would have faltered several times. Thank you to Slashfoxes for being the best alpha/beta/cheerleader/motivator I could have ever asked for. Your comments on this fic gave me life and kept me going. Any remaining mistakes are my own.

James’ favorite thing when he turned five was his teddy bear. 

He got it from his favorite big “cousin” as a birthday gift the summer before he left for Hogwarts. “Don’t worry, Jamie,” Teddy whispered to him, pressing the well-loved bear into his tiny arms, “this way you’ll always have at least one Teddy with you.” 

“What do you mean?” James asked. 

“It’s for when I go to Hogwarts. That way you still have a friend. You can play with this Teddy until I get back!” 

Teddy looked so proud of himself for this, which is why his demeanor crumpled so completely when James replied bluntly, “Oh, I’m not going to need that.”

Teddy had been there for as long as James could remember. He came over for dinners and weekends and sleepovers when his Gran went away. He was James’ first friend and playmate. James didn’t want him to go to Hogwarts. Who would play with him? Al had Rose, and Lily was just a baby. Teddy had always been his, and once he left James wouldn’t see him for _ages_. Which was why James had hatched a plan. 

James knew he had hurt Teddy’s feelings when he watched Teddy’s hair turn midnight blue—it only ever looked that way when Teddy was really sad. James didn’t understand why he was going to need Teddy-the-bear because he was going to Hogwarts too. James looked around the room at his aunts and uncles and was surprised to see so many frowning faces. Did they really think Teddy would be going to Hogwarts without James?

“James.” His mum was crouched next to him whispering so only he could hear. “Darling, you’ve hurt Teddy’s feelings. He wants to give you something very important to him.” She gave him a meaningful look as James looked back at Teddy and realized he hadn’t told him about the plan. 

“I’m sorry Teddy,” James said earnestly. “I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

“That’s okay, Jamie. I just don’t want you to be sad while I’m gone.” 

James took the bear with a smile as Teddy’s hair returned to the vibrant magenta it had previously been and the rest of the party went off without a hitch. Time passed and summer drew to a close. James went to Diagon Alley with Teddy to get his things for school. They played Quidditch in the backyard, Teddy on his new broom and James on his starter kit. They had adventures and talked about what Hogwarts would be like. James decided not to tell Teddy about his plan, he wanted to surprise him when they got to school. 

The night before they were set to take Teddy to the train James was busy up in his room trying to figure out how he was going to fit his broom into his mini-rucksack when his dad came in. 

“James,” he started, “I wanted to talk to you about tomorrow. Hey, is that your broom? Why is your broom up here, James?”

“Because I need it for tomorrow,” James replied happily, continuing to put his things into his rucksack.

His dad took a deep breath. “Why do you need it for tomorrow James? And why are you packing your chocolate frog cards and pants into your rucksack?”

James looked at his dad as if the answer was obvious. “I’m going to need them at Hogwarts. I’m flying there tomorrow behind the train. Don’t let Al touch my Screaming YoYo or Comb-a-Chameleon while I’m gone. He broke the last toy I let him play with. Actually, maybe I should take the comb with me...” James began rooting around in his pack.

“James, what you do you mean you’re going to need them at Hogwarts? You’re not old enough to go yet.” 

“I’m going with Teddy,” James replied simply.

His dad sighed again before ruining all of James’ plans. 

Standing on Platform 9 ¾ on the first of September, James clutched his bear tightly. Teddy was going to Hogwarts and he was not. It wasn’t fair and he had told his parents as much at least eight times since his dad explained that he had to be eleven to go to Hogwarts. Teddy was giddy with excitement and James tried his best not to cry as he hugged Teddy goodbye. “Don’t worry Jamie, Christmas will be here before you know it and I’ll have loads of things to show you then!” Teddy called from the train window. James let a large sniffle slip as the train pulled away from the station and his parents looked on with sad smiles. He thought to himself that if he couldn’t have the real thing Teddy-the-bear would have to do—until Christmas at least.

* * * * *

James’ favorite thing when he turned seven was a Hufflepuff Quidditch jersey.

Teddy gave it to him the day the whole family went to watch Teddy’s first match. Hufflepuff won thanks to Teddy and James was besides himself in the stands. Teddy was the team’s Keeper and for some reason that felt right to James. 

James was captivated by the match that day, it having been the first time he got to watch a proper Quidditch match—the ones that took place in Nan and Grandad Weasley’s garden certainly didn’t count. Everything from the pitch, to the crowd, the the uniforms (the yellow!) awed him, and deep down he knew that Quidditch was all he wanted to do for the rest of his life. 

After the match James’ dad got special permission to take Teddy into Hogsmeade for lunch; James didn’t always like how famous his dad was, especially when people crowded them in public or treated him differently because he was a Potter, but this time James guessed it was okay. 

At lunch James babbled to anyone who would listen about what things would be like when he got to Hogwarts. 

“Uncle Ron, I’m going to be in Hufflepuff just like Teddy!” James chattered happily as they ordered their drinks.

“If you’re not sorted into Gryffindor, we’ll disinherit you, won’t we Harry?” His uncle winked at his dad, laughing as his Aunt ‘Mione smacked his arm. James just rolled his eyes, his uncle was always saying silly things like that. 

“Auntie ‘Dromeda, did you know that when Teddy is in seventh year I’ll be at Hogwarts?” James asked while looking over his menu.

“Is that so darling? I hadn’t realized,” his aunt replied giving him an indulgent smile. 

“Dad, Dad, Dad!” James bounced in his seat.

“Yes, James?” His dad responded, fork paused in mid-air. 

“When I get to Hogwarts I’m going to make the team in my first year just like you!”

“If you keep practicing I’m sure you will, pal.” His dad smiled, returning to his lunch.

“And then guess what Dad?”

“What?” 

“Teddy will be my captain and I’ll be his best Chaser!” 

Harry and Ginny exchanged amused looks. “That sounds great, James. Maybe you want to let your captain make the decisions through,” his dad suggested, nodding to Teddy. 

Teddy just sat there beaming.

James wore the shirt for the better part of the year, bringing it to his mum every time a hem frayed or a seam ripped so she could repair it. James was a typical seven year old boy and he played hard. That shirt had been through it all and after nearly a year it had definitely seen better days. James’ birthday was coming up and his parents took turns gently suggesting that they get him a new one but James stubbornly refused. That shirt wouldn’t be from Teddy. Ginny and Harry couldn’t decide if this is better or worse than James’ insistence on “Teddy-the-bear” coming everywhere with them.

* * * * *

James’ favorite thing when he turned 10 was a pair of socks.

They _definitely_ didn’t start out as his favorite. James had complained the second he saw the package from the Muggle shop in town. “ _But Muuuuum _, those are the boring ones! You know I hate them.”__

__“They were the only ones in, James, and you needed new socks. You’re just going to have to make do this time,” his mum replied tiredly._ _

__“But they’re _boring _,” James insisted. Clearly his mum didn’t understand why that was a problem and he needed her to. “They’re probably the same ones that Uncle Percy wears to his boring job at the boring Ministry where he eats his boring lunches at his boring desk,” he finished, giving her a significant look.___ _

____Peals of laughter rang throughout the kitchen as his mum leaned over the counter trying to catch her breath. James was quite put out. When she finally caught her breath she came over to him, hugging him close and running her fingers through his hair fondly. “Darling, the color or pattern of your socks does not determine your entire life. You’ll survive them this one time.”_ _ _ _

____James huffed —clearly his mum did not understand._ _ _ _

____“And besides,” she continued, “there are far worse things in life than being boring.”_ _ _ _

____James disagreed. He tried again to explain just why this was such a problem but his mum just ended up bent over, clutching her sides and laughing until tears ran down her face. After that he had stomped upstairs, thrown the package in the corner, and promptly forgotten about them._ _ _ _

____Weeks later, completely out of socks and desperate, James found the package buried under a pile of the newest jokes from his uncle's’ shop. He sighed, resigned to the fact that his feet would be boring that day, and grabbed a pair out of the package before scooping up his trainers and running down the stairs._ _ _ _

____He had almost reached the bottom step when Al shouted something to him from upstairs. James turned to look back and ran into something solid before landing on his bum with a thud, trainers flying out of his arms in the process. James looked up, socks still clutched in his hand, and the only thing he could register was _blue_. A strange feeling washed over James and his hand tingled, but he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from the sea of blue to figure out why. _ _ _ _

____“Easy there, Jamie,” Teddy pulled him to his feet, laughing._ _ _ _

____“What…your...” James spluttered, caught off guard at the sight before him. Teddy’s hair was _blue _.___ _ _ _

______“Jamie,” five year old Lily came bounding into the room, “Mum’s waiting, your practice starts in 15 minutes and you know how Mr. Wood gets when we’re late. Hey, cool socks! Teddy, did you change your hair to match Jamie’s socks?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______James looked down at the boring white socks balled up in his fist only to find that they were the exact shade of Teddy’s very blue hair._ _ _ _ _ _

______Teddy huffed another laugh. “Wow, that's quite the coincidence, huh Jamie?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______James flushed and laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, it is….when did you do that do your hair? I don’t think I’ve seen it that color before.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh, I found a picture of me as a baby in Gran’s attic and she said it was the first color I ever morphed it to.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh, it’s...nice,” James said, lamely._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Jamieeeeee,” Lily whined. “Mum’s waitinggggg.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Reluctantly, James tore his eyes away from the bright blue mop atop Teddy’s head and quickly pulled on the now-blue socks on before scrambling to find his trainers. All through his mini-league practice James was distracted. Coach Wood shouted at him no less than 37 separate times in the hour that practice lasted. It was so bad that his mum and Coach Wood got into a shouting match about how much he was shouting at James._ _ _ _ _ _

______James couldn’t even focus on that enough to laugh. He was wrapped up in the blue of Teddy’s hair—and his socks, which he must’ve accidentally magicked to be the same color. James had heard that accidental magic could happen when someone felt strongly about something, but he hadn’t realized that being surprised could count as well._ _ _ _ _ _

______James tried to make more of the Teddy socks, as he started calling them in his head, but the package of boring, white socks remained stubbornly boring and white. The accidentally-blue socks quickly became the only socks he wanted to wear and his family started to notice. James heard about those socks constantly for well over a year. _No, Lily,_ he doesn’t wear them every day. And _of course_ he washes them every single time he wears them, Dad. And if you say one more thing about my socks Al I’ll tell everyone what _really_ happened to the shelves in Grandad’s shed! But deep down James didn’t mind, because he was always able to see that perfect shade of blue._ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _

* * * * *

James’ favorite thing when he turned 11 was his first real broomstick.

James’ eleventh birthday began the way any young wizard’s did, with a letter arriving welcoming him to Hogwarts. He was buzzing with excitement when it came because this meant he could finally become a Hufflepuff and play Quidditch for Teddy, who had just been named captain. He tried to borrow the family owl to write Teddy, but his mum told him no with a cryptic response to which James was much too excited to pay any mind. 

When Teddy showed up at their house two hours later, James nearly tackled him from the sheer force of his joy. His joy crumbled quickly when he realized that Teddy wasn’t there to celebrate his birthday, he was there to babysit Al and Lily so James could have a special day out with just his mum and dad. James didn’t understand the feeling in the pit of his stomach; he wanted Teddy to come with them, and didn’t understand just why it mattered so much to him. 

“But mum, its _my_ birthday, and _I’ve_ known Teddy longer than them. Why can’t he come and you or Dad stay home?” Harry and Ginny exchanged meaningful looks as James pouted and stomped and hid in his room. Eventually he agreed to go with his parents, after exacting promises from Teddy that they get to spend time together, just the two of them, when he returned. 

James dutifully allowed his parents to drag him to all the shops in Diagon Alley and pick up what he would need for school. He was far too antsy to get back and kept making a mess wherever he went. In Flourish and Blotts he knocked over an entire stack of books that began making the strangest noises when they flopped open. In the apothecary he sent an entire vat of frog spleen careening over the shopkeeper. At Madam Malkin’s, while getting measured for his robes, he was stuck so many times with the the magical pins that his mother sighed in that way that meant she was finally fed up with him, warning, “James if you don’t stop squirming and allow the poor man to finish doing his job then Teddy is going home as soon as we get back.” His father tried to stifle what James thought was a snort of amusement, but James knew better than to ignore his mum when she used that tone and managed to control himself after that. 

James dragged his parents into Quality Quidditch Supplies and pleaded that they buy him a real broom. “I want to fly,” he whispered to his mum, voice awe-struck as he gazed at the newest brooms. “I know first years aren’t supposed to have them but I’m tired of being on the ground. I need to be free.” The look in his eyes, and her own memories of sneaking out on her brothers’ brooms when her mum wasn’t looking, had her buying James the newest Zephyr before she could really think about it. James lit up and practically sprinted back to the Apparition point, forgoing a stop at Fortescue’s, declaring “I can’t wait to show Teddy!” Harry and Ginny sighed in resigned exasperation—maybe having Teddy babysit today wasn’t their best idea. 

As soon as they arrived home, James dragged Teddy away from his siblings, willfully ignoring the game of Gobstones he stomped through the middle of—it was his birthday after all—and out into the garden for a proper game of Quidditch. James zoomed into the sky, hooting with joy as he flew higher than he ever had before. 

This was everything he had ever dreamed of. In junior league he had only been able to fly a few feet above the ground, at what the adults in his life had called “a safe height.” Now he was free. The wind buffeting him from all sides, the sun warm on his face, the soaring feeling that extended all the way down to the tips of his toes—this was what James was made for. 

He kept Teddy outside for hours. They played Seeker's games and Chaser vs Keeper. They even played one-on-one Chasers and James had nearly knocked Teddy off his broom trying to steal the Quaffle from him. By the time they came inside, at the insistence of his parents, it was dark and they were both seat-sore. James’ hands were covered in blisters and he nearly fell asleep with his face in his birthday cake.

After Al nudged him awake for the third time in five minutes James conceded defeat and trudged up the stairs to bed. He changed into his pyjamas, pulled on his favorite blue socks, and climbed into bed convinced: no birthday would ever be better.

* * * * *

James’ favorite thing when he turned 15 wasn’t so much a what, but a who—his owl, Thoros.

James had loved Thoros from the moment he saw him in Eyelops at eleven years old. One look at his heart-shaped face and sandy brown feathers and he knew he was the one. It didn’t hurt that his coloring reminded James of his favorite metamorphmagus. At eleven James loved Thoros as much as any preteen with a brand-new broomstick could, he just wasn’t his favorite back then. 

At first he had appreciated that Thoros carried his letters home to his family members, his silly salutations and over the top signatures became something of a family joke. His habit had brought him all manner of packages from his “life-givers,” “sweater factory,” “Muggle maniac,” and “prank proliferator” in return. He received practical necessities and mischief makers, strange contraptions and sweets of every kind. He was as happy as could be with his feathered companion. 

Once Teddy graduated from Hogwarts however, James began to really appreciate having his owl. Since they were no longer able to spend time together at Hogwarts, much to James’ dismay and the staff’s relief, being able to exchange letters with Teddy became a lifeline for James as he navigated his early teenage years.

Teddy went immediately into the Aurors, following in his mother's footsteps. He wrote to James frequently about it, the two of them sending letters back-and-forth with lightning-fast frequency. Teddy wrote about his training, grumbling about the long hours, difficult tasks, and sheer volume of memorization required, calling it cruel and unusual education. Despite all of that, Teddy excelled during his two years in the Aurors Academy; his metamorphic ability made him the ideal candidate to be placed in the undercover unit. He was frequently sent on long missions and would go months without writing to James. 

James would write to him though, keeping a stack of completed letters in his nightstand, ready to send with Thoros as soon as he received word that Teddy was back home. He would pester his dad for information seeing as he was Teddy’s boss, but that never got him very far. Still, James tried not to let it bother him too much. Teddy was doing good work and he was happy, so James was happy for him. 

The distance was a strain on both of them but with Thoros and their letters it made it manageable. Somewhere along the way James realized that his feelings for his god-brother had become something more. James loved having Teddy as his best friend and confidante, and if he just so happened to find said best friend fit as fuck, well he guessed that was alright—so long as no one else figured that out. 

Every time Thoros would pop up with a letter from Teddy saying he returned, James would drop what he was doing—even if it was Quidditch—and dash to his dormitory to collect the pages, and feet, and rolls of parchment he had written while Teddy was away. It was strange, but it seemed as if Thoros became as much Teddy’s owl as he was James’, always knowing when Teddy was back and ready with a letter for James. 

Teddy had been gone six months—his longest mission yet—when James heard the familiar tap tap tap on the leaded window pain. He pushed his Transfiguration essay to the side, O.W.L.s be damned, and dashed to the tower window, flinging it open and allowing the cool spring air to wash over him. He quickly untied the scroll from Thoros’ leg and gave him an affectionate ruffle before allowing him to sail off into the night to hunt while James composed his response.

James pressed his want to the parchment mumbling and the words began to appear on the page. James read the letter quickly and then read it over again to make sure he had things right. He hated receiving letters from Teddy when he was upset and this one seemed to take the cake. He wrote about how sometimes he forgot who he really was, being forced to look and talk and walk like someone else for so long was taking a toll on him. James’ heart broke in that moment. He knew who Teddy was, and he had to make sure Teddy remembered it as well. 

James pulled out a fresh piece of parchment, dipped his quill into the ink pot, paused for a moment, then began to write:

_Dearest Stuffed Bear McWolfenstien,_

_Please stop apologizing for, as you described it, “worrying you with things that are not your problem.” I thought you knew me better by now. You're my best friend and I'm always going to be here for you even if I am still technically “a kid” and besides who else are you going to tell this to? My dad? Nope. Your gran? Nope. So it looks like you’re stuck with me. You better get used to it—I’m not going anywhere._

_Since you’ve clearly forgotten, it appears to be the responsibility of a fifteen year old to remind you of exactly who you are, Tedward. Honestly, what would you do without me? I wonder...anyway, back to the task at hand._

_You, Teddy, are the person who gave me your favorite stuffed bear when you left for Hogwarts so that I wouldn't be sad. You’re the person who sends his Gran flowers every week so she always has something beautiful to look at. You’re the person who agreed to fly with me on my eleventh birthday until we were both so numb and sore that we couldn’t walk for a week just because I wanted to. You are the truest Hufflepuff I have ever known. You value and show kindness to everyone, even when the world isn’t kind to you. You are the ranking mastermind that McGonagall wasn’t prepared for (silly of her, really)._

_Do I need to go on? My guess is yes because I’m sure at this point you’re shaking your head going, “I know that Jamie, but it’s not the same.” Sometimes you’re impossible, did you know that? Fine then, I have another thought for you._

_Maybe you just need something to remind you of who you “really” are. This may sound like a weird question, but do your fingerprints ever change? Rose was telling me about some Muggle thing Aunt Hermione was researching. Apparently Muggle police men can figure out who committed crimes by their fingerprints, kind of the way you do with magical signatures. She gave me a book on it (because of course she did). Maybe, if they don’t morph, when you're feeling lost you can look at them and know that no matter what your hair color is, or the shape of your eyes, or the slope of your nose, or even the color of your skin, that deep down you're still my ickle Teddy-kins._

_Most sincerely,  
Jim-Jam Dogstar Claypot Esq._

James read over the letter, satisfied with his work he cast the charm obscuring his words from anyone who didn’t know the secret phrase, a trick he and Teddy had learned thanks to his Uncle George letting slip about the enchanted Hogwarts map. James stretched his arms above his head before walking back over to the window and searching the night sky for Thoros. It didn’t take long for the owl to appear—he had a knack for knowing exactly when he was needed. 

“Take this to Teddy,” James whispered, stroking the bird’s tawny feathers. “And don’t leave him until he’s alright.” Thoros hooted in response and nipped James’ hand affectionately before soaring into the night. James watched until he disappeared into the darkness, as one of his favorites went to visit another.

* * * * *

James’ favorite thing when he turned 17 was a magical box.

It appeared with Thoros in the early morning hours after the owl had been gone for a bloody week. James had been getting worried that he had been gone for so long but when he saw the giant package clasped between the owl's talons he knew why. He hastily opened the window allowing the bird to land on the sill, clearly tired. After fetching some water and some of last night’s roast, and making sure Thoros was well taken care of, James turned to the package. 

It was large and lumpy, but surprisingly light when James lifted it. He gave the bird an affectionate ruffle of his feathers which earned him a tired hoot and a fond glare before Thoros flapped across the room and promptly tucked his head under his wing. 

Carefully, James took the package and carried it over to his bed, settling down before reaching for the envelope attached to it. He recognized the small but rounded penmanship as soon as he saw it and smiled to himself. Of course Teddy had sent him something for his birthday. 

James opened the envelope and pressed his wand to the blank paper, flushing with embarrassment as he mumbled the password he had foolishly convinced Teddy to use in first year when they first tried out this trick. Ink began to spread and his eye drank in the words greedily. 

_The Most Esteemed Grandpa’s Name Uncle-who-is-not-a-murderer’s name Potman,_

_Happy seventeenth, old chap! How does it feel to be officially an adult in the eyes of the wizarding world (but not the adults who raised you—trust me)? I'm sorry I can't be there for the party tonight, no one expected this mission to go on as long as it has—not even your dad._

_The only good part of being sent on this mission has been that I've learned a whole new trade. The artisans here are incredible and have taught me so much. I think I actually have a skill for it, Jamie. I hope you enjoy this gift, I’ve worked really hard on it with all the time I've been sitting here waiting for something happen with this mission. Maybe don't tell your dad about it until I get back, yeah, since I’m not supposed to send mail and he'll probably have my tail for this. I was going to wait until I got back but then Thoros turned up and you know what it's like trying to say no to that sodding bird._

_I want you to open the package before you read the next part of this letter so I'll wait._

_No seriously I'm waiting go open it._

 

James put down the letter and took the package in his hands, wondering exactly what it was that Teddy had learned how to make. Carefully, he unwrapped the parcel to reveal an exquisitely carved block. James took a steadying breath as he traced the whorls and divots etched into the wood, the intricate pattern making his fingers dance along the sides. The reddish-brown wood felt warm and alive in his hands and he hummed in appreciation of just how much time must have gone into this gift. Without setting down the block James reached for the letter and continued reading. 

 

_Traditionally, wizards are supposed to be given a watch for their seventeenth birthday, and I’m sure that your mum and dad have that more than covered, but I still wanted to do something special for you, Jamie. This gift is more than it appears; the woodworkers here have found ways to layer their spells into their wares in ways I have never seen before. It’s brilliant!_

_First, this box can function as a Pensieve-of-sorts, storing your memories, but also playing them back to you without having to dive in, almost like the way the Muggle films work. There are so many things I wish I could remember from our younger years so I decided that I wanted to give you the gift of remembering._

_Second it will play you the music your heart most desires to hear. Being away on these missions has made me appreciate music as a grounding force. Whenever I feel I’ve lost myself I put on a favorite melody and use your fingerprint trick to bring myself back. I wanted to give you something that I’ve found helpful as you enter your last year of Hogwarts and then the “real world,” whatever that load of shite means._

_Finally, there are protection spells on it for privacy as well as damage. To the unknowing observer it will appear to be a pretty block of wood, but you and I know better. No one can access it unless you alter the spells warding it. The cherry wood will never break or warp or burn. Your memories will always be safe. Use your wand to tap out the beat of our secret handshake and all will be revealed._

_Have the happiest of birthdays, Jamie. When I get back from this mission we’ll have a proper celebration. Now go make some memories worthy of your box._

_Eternally yours,  
Monsignor Grandpa’s Name Dad’s Name Wolfish _

James was gobsmacked. Teddy had given him the absolute perfect gift and he wasn’t here to thank properly—and boy, did James want to thank him properly. With a slightly shaking hand James found his wand and raised it to the box. Carefully he began rhythmically tapping on the top of the box, the beat from his childhood returning to him as if they had performed the handshake only yesterday. 

James felt a whirring inside as a seam opened along the sides and the top lifted up on magical hinges. A pulsing beat filled the room as music poured from the box, and James wondered what it was he was listening to. Teddy’s letter had said it was his heart’s desire but James was pretty sure his heart had yet to share that particular bit of information with his brain. Whatever it was though, it was perfect—soothing and steadying and absolutely perfect. 

James listened to the music for a while, relishing the way it made him feel. Eventually a voice called to him from the kitchen, “James, darling, come down for breakfast!” 

James pressed his wand to his temple and focused on the events of the morning. He felt them solidify in his memory then began to pull the wand away from him, the memories trailing from his wand wrapped in a silvery-wisp. Tenderly, James deposited it into the box before closing the lid and tapping the pattern again to seal it. 

James took the stairs two at a time, suddenly realizing how hungry he was. As he rounded the corner James stopped in his tracks, mouth agape. Standing in front of the Floo was Teddy, perfectly rumpled and somehow managing to look sheepish and yet proud of himself at the exact same time. 

It took a while for James’ brain to register that what he was seeing wasn’t actually a hallucination. For probably the first time in his life James didn’t have any words. First Teddy had made him the box and now he was standing here in person. He strode across the room and hugged Teddy like his life depended on it. Something about Teddy’s heartbeat felt familiar and steadying to James, something almost musical, but he couldn’t be arsed to figure out why in that moment. His mum and dad smirked at each other from across the kitchen but James couldn’t see that with his face pressed to Teddy’s chest—knowing this was all he could have of him, but wishing for more. If James was really honest with himself, he was wishing for everything with Teddy.

Over breakfast Teddy filled him in on how case had a break about an hour after he sent off Thoros with the package and within 24 hours they had broken the illegal potion ring. Teddy had caught the first Portkey back and after giving his official memories of the events over to the Auror’s had Flooed over directly. He hadn’t even been home to see his Gran yet. 

James insisted Teddy spend the day, his Gran would be over later, and they had much to catch up on—despite the morning’s letter, which was currently residing on James’ desk. Laughing, Teddy agreed and James immediately dragged him upstairs and insisted he tell him everything he could about the box. They spent the morning discussing magic and pondered as to why the pace of the music seemed to occasionally skip a beat without reason. 

James was curious but with Teddy back home, and looking at him the way he was, James figured he could worry about that later.

* * * * *

James’ favorite thing when he turned 19 was his flat.

He bought it with the bonus he earned for being named Rookie of the Year for the Falcons. The airy two bedroom flat overlooking the Thames had a private Floo connection to the training facility and a select few other places. Being a Potter would have been reason enough to protect his home, but with his newly minted status as Quidditch wunderkind it seemed even more necessary. 

James loved everything about his flat, which was good because with all the attention and press he’d been getting, it was hard to spend much time outside of it. He loved that he could take in the sunrise as he woke for his early morning workout. He loved that everything in the kitchen was charmed so he never ruined a meal. He loved the giant couch that dominated the living room with the pillows that were excellent for fort-making. But what James loved most about his flat was how comfortable Teddy felt there. 

Teddy frequently popped by unannounced when he wasn’t away on a mission. They made dinners and built forts and played games, often laughing into the small hours of the morning. The more time Teddy spent there, the more often James found himself waking up on his massive couch, Teddy wrapped in a nest of blankets beside him. It was silly really, neither of them making use of the bedrooms, opting instead to moor themselves to the couch, their life raft in a sea of increasingly long looks and lingering touches.

They went on like that for months. Waking up tangled in blankets and the clothes they were wearing from the night before. Never talking about it, just smiling shyly at each other before going their separate ways for the day. It drove James mad, but every time he thought to broach the subject with Teddy his Gryffindor courage failed him. So he took to depositing the memories of their conversations into his box instead. 

It wasn’t until an unfortunate incident with his brother that James finally plucked up the courage to ask for what he wanted. On the morning in question James woke up much as he normally did, nestled next to Teddy, the pair of them almost touching, after another night that they spent together talking until the sky began to lighten with the first hint of morning. 

Teddy had discussed at length his conflicted feelings about being in the Aurors and his growing desire to do something that brought him joy all the time. James had understood his feelings and talked about how conflicted he sometimes felt about all the baggage that came along with choosing Quidditch as his career, even though he loved it with every fibre of his being. It hurt him to see Teddy so torn and he wanted to do something to alleviate the anxieties they had discussed all night. 

Unfortunately for James, he rolled over to find Albus staring down at him, a teasing smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. Albus quirked an eyebrow and sauntered down the hall, forcing James to follow him with a heavy sigh. He was not well rested enough for whatever this conversation was going to be. 

“How long have you been sleeping with our god-brother, James?” Albus questioned him the moment they were out of Teddy’s earshot.

“What, Al—I’m not...you have it all wrong.” James spluttered.

“James, relax, I said sleeping with, not shagging.” The smirk broke into a fully blown smile, amusement evident in his eyes.

James breathed a sigh of relief. At least Albus hadn’t gotten the wrong end of the stick.

“I mean, I know you both want to, but neither of you have been brave enough to make a move, which is saying something considering _you’re_ supposed to be the Gryffindor here.”

James stood there, mouth agape, unsure of what to do or say. He wasn’t used to Albus speaking so plainly or confidently. Clearly all that time he spent with Scorpius was doing his moody little brother some good. 

“So what are you going to do, Jamie? He’s mad about you—if I hadn’t been sure of it before, walking in on the two of you asleep like that definitely would have confirmed it for me.”

“Really?” James whispered. 

“Yes you daft knob. Now please, make a move before I do it for you.” James shook his head. He understood, but was not quite able to verbalize his feelings. Al continued, “I’m staying here for a bit, Dad’s driving me spare. It’s only been a bloody week since I finished school, you’d think he’d leave it be for a little while longer. I’ll be in the guest bedroom with a heavy silencing charm on the door so just pretend I’m not here.”

James stood there, still processing what Al said as the door the guest room closed and he heard the mumble of a spell before silence took hold of the hall once again. Checking his watch, he realized it would still be some time before Teddy woke up so James decided to take a shower to get his mind straight. 

Twenty minutes later, refreshed from his wash and hungry, James ventured into the kitchen to fry up some breakfast for them. He pulled out the pans and set to work slicing bread and cracking eggs. A few minutes later Teddy ambled into the kitchen, sleep rumpled, pointed his wand at the tea kettle and rummaged through James’ cupboard for some mugs and the tea tin. 

“Smells good,” he hummed appreciatively as the kettle whistled, and he poured the hot water into his favorite of James’ mugs. James smiled, a plan coming together delightfully. 

“Oi, mate, pour me a cup as well, if you want to remain a Keeper.” 

Teddy looked around, confused, until James pointed to the steaming mug in his hands with the words “I’m A Keeper” emblazoned on it in bright blue, a delightful part of a gift set from Lily when he moved into his flat. Teddy laughed and grabbed the second mug off the counter filling it up and setting it down at James’ favorite spot at the table. 

James smiled to himself as he plated the egg-in-a-baskets and rashers and made his way over to the table, passing Teddy his plate and tucking in. They ate in companionable silence for a bit, James fortifying himself before he made his move. 

Casually, he started, “So it seems like you want to then.”

Teddy looked at him, confused again. “Sorry, what?”

“Remain a keeper. You got my tea so quickly, I’m guessing that means you want me to keep you.” 

Teddy blushed, the roots of his hair turned a gentle pink, as he looked at James shyly. “What if I do?”

“Well then I guess Albus was smart to put up that silencing charm, I have a feeling he’ll be trapped in the guest room for a while now.” The pair of them laughed as James reached across the table, threading his fingers through Teddy’s perfectly-pink hair and kissing him as if nothing else mattered in the world. 

Merlin, did James love having his own flat.

* * * * *

James’ favorite thing when he turned 22 was a set of shelves.

James knew he’d become domestic when he watched his boyfriend install them in the corner of the living room of their shared house and was more excited about getting to arrange their things on them than the way Teddy’s muscles flexed and stretched as he affixed them to the walls. Well, actually, maybe James was _equally_ excited about both these things. 

Despite having quit the Aurors the year before to open his own woodshop, Teddy had lost none of his physique, which James appreciated more than he could explain. And which was also the reason why he was ogling Teddy’s arse in those jeans instead of passing him the tools he had requested. 

“Jamie, I know my arse looks incredible, but I need that hammer if we’re going to get this done before your parents get here.”

“Erm, right, yes, I’ll just go get it,” James fumbled, only slightly embarrassed he’d been caught staring _again_. He found and passed Teddy the hammer, adding, “as long as you promise to hammer me later,” and was delighted when Teddy blushed and his hair hair turned that distinctive shade of red that promised James his desires would be fulfilled. 

James “supervised” as Teddy finished installing the shelves then went to shower while James began organizing the items they had decided to display on them. As Teddy had explained it, the shelves were imbued with spells to protect and preserve the items on them. They could also adjust to the size and weight of the items without altering their appearance. 

James was in awe of the work Teddy did everyday, and to be able to add his work to their new home was something he was endlessly proud of. Carefully, James began sorting through the items, deciding what was best to place where. Teddy-the-bear shared shelf space with the music box Teddy-the-human had made for James’ seventeenth. The letter James had written to Teddy in fifth year was framed and housed beside one of the air plants Albus insisted they keep around the house. On the other side of the frame, James placed the sock he accidentally transfigured when he was nine (protected in a case courtesy of Lily—another spot-on housewarming gift). 

Nestled on the top shelf was Thoros, sleeping comfortably on the perch Teddy had carved specifically for him which was spelled to be sturdy but gentle on the aging bird’s frame. James spent some time sorting through photos and trinkets, placing a replica model of his first Zephyr broomstick on a shelf next to a photo of him and Teddy after Teddy’s first Quidditch match at Hogwarts. James was wearing the Hufflepuff shirt he lived in for the better part of a year and Teddy’s hair was striped yellow and black. He smiled fondly, remembering the day—and his conviction that he too would be a Hufflepuff—well. 

James wasn’t a Hufflepuff, but he was in love with one. And that was even better, he thought.

* * * * *

James’ favorite thing when he turns 25 is the tiny box he has carried in his pocket for weeks now.

It’s been burning a hole through him since he picked it up from Mr. Zabini’s jewelry shop. James stands now beneath his invisibility cloak, watching as Teddy-the-human enters the living room and walks over to the shelves he built for James, noticing the envelope sitting on Teddy-the-bear’s lap. 

James holds his breath, stroking the velvety box, trying with all his might not to break from the plan and burst out from his hiding place. He watches Teddy read the letter, tears pooling in his eyes, and hears the sharp intake of breath. Teddy looks around the room, eyes lingering on James’ hiding place for a moment too long before a crack rings out and he is left alone in the house. 

If Teddy understood the first letter, which James knows he would, he will be striding across Hogwarts’ grounds towards the Quidditch pitch and his former Head of House for his second letter. James knows he has about two hours before Teddy will be home. He’s always been better at solving puzzles than James is at creating them, and even with his Aunt Hermione’s help he knows he has to move quickly so everything else will be ready. 

James sets about shrinking the furniture and setting up the floating candles. He wonders how far Teddy has made it. The Zephyr Shop? Eeylops? His parents and Al know to signal him once Teddy has been to see them. Time manages to crawl and fly by at the exact same time. He is putting the finishing touches on the screen when he hears his mother’s voice floating up from his pocket.

“James darling, he’s just left.”

With shaking hands, James pulls the mirror out and sees his parents faces beaming back at him. “How is he?” James asks, voice trembling slightly.

“He knows,” his dad replies. James sighs, he knew Teddy would. “But he wants to let you do this your way.” James smiles—Teddy always did go along with his crazy schemes. 

“How are you feeling, love?” his mum inquires.

“Ask me again in an hour.” James grins. His parents looked at each other knowingly. “I’ve still got some work to do here. Thanks mum, dad. Love you.”

“Let us know once he’s said yes!” His mum’s voice fades as he shoves the mirror back into his pocket. So Teddy is at his workshop now, that means time is running out. It won’t be long before he goes to Nan and Grandad’s then finds Al at the first flat. 

By the time Al’s voice chirps in his pocket James is ready. 

“He’s at the workshop again,” Al informs him, a bit teary. “Lily made sure to pop the new letter in while he was gone. I know he’s almost there so I won’t keep you, but I just wanted you to know how happy I am for you both. He’d be crazy not to say yes.”

“Thanks, Al. It will be you and Scorp next!” Al blushes and mumbles something, but James is distracted as another crack rips through the flat and Teddy suddenly appears in front of him. 

“Hi,” James whispers, dropping the mirror.

“H,.” Teddy whispers back. 

“Have a busy day?” James asks, trying to collect himself and be nonchalant.

“Not really,” Teddy replies, tone matching James’. “Just spent the last few hours Apparating around the country. Some daft bloke left me a bunch of letters to follow. Don’t happen to know anything about that do you?”

“Erm, well, actually, I might,” James stammers, suddenly shy. “Might have something to do with...this.” James waves his arm around the living room lamely. 

Teddy laughs, breaking the tension. “Merlin, you drive me mad Jamie, but I do love you.”

“Well, while you’re feeling so inclined, I have one last letter for you.”

Teddy looks around the room expectantly. “Where?”

James takes his hand and walks him over to the screen that has been set up next to the shelves Teddy built for them. Teddy looks at him inquiringly, “It’s, erm, not so much a letter as, oh, well, you’ll see.” 

James taps the box on the shelf twice with his wand and music fills the room as the screen lights up. James hugs Teddy from behind, stretching up on his toes to rest his chin on Teddy’s shoulder as images of the pair of them fill the screen: them laughing together at the pub; sitting around the table at the Potter’s, and various Weasley’s, and Teddy’s Gran’s; them flying together both on and off the pitch; images of much younger versions of themselves from their year together at Hogwarts; nights out dancing at clubs and in on their couch snuggling; St. Mungo’s the night James broke both his arms; Teddy’s sheepish smile on the morning of James’ seventeenth birthday; James’ favorite shade of blue; Teddy’s face as he read James’ letter that morning. Twenty-five years worth of James’ memories of him and Teddy play back to them, all pouring out of the music box Teddy made him years ago, accompanied by music set to the beat of Teddy’s heart. 

Finally the screen went dark and James pulls away from Teddy. He positions himself so that when Teddy turns around, he sees James down on one knee, ring box open, looking up at him, eyes full of love and hope. James asks simply, “Will you?”

“But, Jamie, its your birthday. I’m supposed to be the one giving you gifts today.” Teddy says earnestly, kneeling so he is eye to eye with James. 

“Then give me the only gift I want this year,” James whispers. “Say yes.”

“Yes,” Teddy breathes as he closes the space between them and kisses James like his life depends on it.

* * * * *

James doesn’t need a new favourite thing when he turns 27.

It’s always been the same, he just didn’t realize it at first. The bear, the jersey, the socks, the broomstick, the owl, the music box, the flat, the shelves, the ring, they’ve all been stand-ins for the real thing. Something he could project his love on to. 

James doesn’t need to project his love any more. He’s reminded of it every time he hold his husband’s hand, every time he feels the press of cool metal against his skin, every time he feels the physical representation of their love on his body. 

He feels it in the heartbeat that radiates from his husband’s ring, the one that beats in time with James’ own heart. He feels it in the peaks and valleys etched into his own ring, the ones that match the furrows and whorls of Teddy’s thumb.

James’ favorite thing isn’t a what, it's a who. It’s the man with blue hair who has captured him mind, body, and soul for as long as he can remember. The rings, and everything else James ever called his “favorite” were only representations of the love he feels for his husband: Edward Remus Lupin-Potter, the man who finally gave James Sirius Lupin-Potter everything he ever wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> This work is part of the 2018 HP Next Gen Fest. The creator will be revealed on November 30.


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